Nothing terrifies Boomers more than furries.


While the internet is full of people with bizarre interests, furries have outpaced other groups by solidifying a place in the nightmares of people over the age of 40. Don’t believe me? Call up that racist uncle of yours and ask if he knows what docking is. He probably doesn’t, but for some reason, he’ll be able to tell you a definitely real story about how the local elementary school is installing litter boxes.



Due to this undying fear of a relatively tiny group of people, some have tried their best to make these outcasts even more outcast-ed. One of those people is Oklahoma Representative Justin Humphrey, who recently introduced a bill that would regulate how furries could engage in public schools.


“Humphrey’s bill, House Bill 3084, would ban ‘students who purport to be an imaginary animal or animal species, or who engage in anthropomorphic behavior commonly referred to as furries at school’ from participating in class and school activities,” summarizes a piece in The Oklahoman.


“The bill would require parents or guardians to pick the student up from school,” the piece continues. “But, if parents are unable to pick the student up, the bill says ‘animal control services shall be contacted to remove the student.’”


I know what you’re thinking: This is a fantastic priority for a state ranked near the bottom in the country in education.


Well, thankfully, the bill is unlikely to pass. Still, furries on Reddit aren’t too thrilled about it. “This should also apply to jobs. Whoops, there goes the entire tech industry,” joked a user. “‘If a child playfully acts like an animal at school, ruin their life,’” offered another. “Just wait till they hear about school mascots, or Disney characters,” observed a third.


Personally, I can’t imagine being bothered by a child pretending to be a dog. Maybe Humphrey just knows something I don’t — or maybe he’s just trying to protect kids from radioactivity exposure.