We’ve all been to friends’ houses who had a fully stocked beer fridge, or parents who hated each other, or an overtly horny dog humping your leg. It’s always an experience going to someone else’s house for the first time. So we’ve sourced AskReddit to find some of the weirdest, strangest, and most unusual stories of visiting somebody else’s house.

The question - “What was your worst/weirdest experience at somebody else’s house?” - was first posed by u/Suspicious_Boss3635, and gained quite a bit of traction with over 2,000 answers. From gropey moms to cringe birthday parties, we’ve gathered some of the best responses. Pack up your sleeping bag and pillow, we’re taking you on a trip to visit some wild houses.

Anytime an adult male offers 14-year-olds booze, it’s not a great start. That’s exactly what happened when Redditor KraftDinr and a friend accepted an invitation to go drink a few beers from some guy in an Army Jacket. “Get to his apartment and he gives us a beer each. And shows us his big knife. Tells us how to gouge out eyes. And how to shoot someone under the chin at the throat pointing up so if by chance they survive, they will be paralyzed.” According to the user, the man then put him in a chokehold and stated, “The longer we sat there. The more scared I was getting. Haven't thought about that for some time.”

Redditor Main-Not-For-Porn shared this cringeworthy tale. “At someone’s birthday party at her house. She divided us into groups and made us write songs about her.” Yeah, that’s gonna be a hard pass for me, bro.

According to Redditor jonas00345, upon entering a friend’s house their dad immediately started screaming from another room. “The dad didn't realize I was there. The kid was cool about it, just kind of, maybe we should just go for a walk. It was how cool the kid was that unnerved me.” Don’t you just love finding out your friends have super abusive parents?

Background-End-3315 felt compelled to share the story about his encounter with a super stoned, super horny mom. “When I was in college there was this redneck named Scott who lived w/his mother & was desperate to leave and move in with me. When I was helping him move out his Mom lit up a joint which I ignored. Then she tried to grope my crotch.” The only warning the Redditor received was “Careful, my mom is a pervert.” Thanks, Scott. Would’ve been nice to know before I was violated, dang.

I probably won’t sleep for days after reading this last one. Redditor Nectarine_Agreeable recounts a sleepover that would probably be funny if it happened in a movie, but this is real-life folks. “Sleepover at my friend's. Family of 6, 2 adults and 4 kids, ran out of toilet paper. And even though a 7-11 and several other stores were mere blocks away (McDonald's to steal from), they employed the Family Towel, poop stains and all, tacked to the wall.”

No need to stop at the gas station, my nightmares are well-fueled thanks.