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Clint Eastwood Takes Furniture to Task

Clint Eastwood took a chair to task at the GOP Convention last night. But he has a whole secret history of being enraged by inanimate objects. Here we have a collection of his previous tirades against furniture most of the public might not know about.

 

 

In 1987 Clint Eastwood’s appearance on Pee-Wee’s Playhouse was cancelled after he berated Chairy on set, saying, “Look at this seductress. How she lures children on to her comfortable face. Those eyelashes bat ever so flirtatiously. That’s how she gets you. She bats those damn eyelashes, you take a seat, and then you’re ass deep in a world of sexual deviancy.”

 

 

In October 2001 Mr. Eastwood was spotted at a Hotel lobby shouting at a red couch for being a “commie”. In his words, “Everyone is allowed to sit on this couch? What next, everyone being allowed to have health care?”

 

 

 

At a swanky Beverly Hills party in Los Angeles, Clint had to be escorted out after spotting a barstool and yelling at it for several minutes, calling it a “skinny whore” and a “pill-popping anorexic liberal.”

 

 

 

In 1992 Clint Eastwood was removed from a screening of the movie Aladdin for shouting at the screen, “There’s no such thing as a free ride! Aladdin is a freeloading foreigner! Get off the magic carpet and get off food stamps!”

 

 

 

In 1998 Clint Eastwood was banned from the Berkeley Public Library for screaming at a bookcase: “Nobody needs to read that many books unless they’re plotting something against the American government!”

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