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I've Never Had A Bad Date You Pathetic Losers

Oh, so you think since I'm on this site I've never had a date? I’ll have you know I banged tons of girls in my class at University, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret orgies, and I have over 300 confirmed lays. I am trained in tantric sex and I’m the top skeeter in the entire US. You are nothing to me but just another virgin mod. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with assuming I've ever had a bad date? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of thots across the USA. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can fuck you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in oral sex, but I have access to the entire arsenal of vibrators and sex swings you could only imagine. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” insinuation was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

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