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Remarkably Lame Superpowers

Reading minds, but only when someone's thinking about what they should have for lunch


Never needs sunblock


Can fly up but can never come back down


X-ray vision, but only for people over 300 pounds


Super strength only kicks in when opening jars

Really high fives


Knows what Kim Kardashian is doing at any given time

Lightning fast mood swings


The ability to make people smell like you


Everyone can read your mind

Unbreakable teeth, glass jaw


Blessed with eternal youth, but stuck as a thirteen year old

Can communicate with Mexican shellfish

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