In what may be the world’s least surprising surprise, it turns out that Aussie accent we all know and love to do terrible impressions of is actually the product of alcohol. Before you ask, “Wait, isn’t everything in Australia a product of achohol?", check out what an expert has to say.

“The Australian alphabet cocktail was spiked by alcohol,” the presumably sober Dean Frenkel wrote in The Age. “Our forefathers regularly got drunk together and through their frequent interactions unknowingly added an alcoholic slur to our national speech patterns,” continued Frenkel, a tutor and lecturer at Melbourne University, which, though a real college, is still in Australia.

They’ve been saying "beer" wrong also

In the world’s first diss track, Winston Churchill called the Australian accent “the most brutal maltreatment which has ever been inflicted upon the mother tongue of the great English speaking nations,” following the sentence with several very sassy z-snaps. And now science may back him up.

“Missing consonants can include missing 't's (Impordant), 'l's (Austraya) and 's's (yesh), while many of our vowels are lazily transformed into other vowels, especially 'a's to 'e's (stending) and 'i's (New South Wyles) and “i”s to “oi”s (noight),” Mr. Frenkel, who has probably never wrestled an alligator, added.

Mr. Frenkel believes that speech lessons need to be implemented in Australia’s education curriculum, to which most people are like, “but it sounds cool though. "

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