This is a true story.

 When I was in 5th grade, I went on a field trip with my science class to a pond. We were checking out small organisms and creatures, and just the general habitat of a pond area.

  Well the last thing the teachers had us do before we left was to put on a sort of wet-suit that came up to about our chest. We put the thing on and walked out into a shallow part of the pond to look at the insects and minnows up close. When it was my turn, I put it on and walked out and I was doing fine until I saw what appeared to be a snake.

  I was (and am) pretty scared of snakes so I sort of freaked out and lost my balance. Now keep in mind that the suit is air-proof, so if you start to fall, you have fairly strong resistance from the water. This didn't stop me from falling, however it did make me go down in slow motion.

 So I had time to react, but I was inevitably going into the water. Out of desperation, I started trying to use my arms to right myself up, but all of my classmates thought that I was trying to swim around in the pond and my suit was filling up with nasty pond water.

  I got completely soaked and embarrassed but managed to get out. The truly terrible part of this story is what happened afterwards.

  They didn't have any towels (apparantly they didn't think anyone was going to swim in the pond) and we were leaving soon, so the teacher didn't want me to sit with the other kids because I would get them wet. Instead, I rode the fucking short bus back to school.

  I really think that was God's way of telling me that I am retarded.