NEWEST JOKES - FEATURED
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Priest and His Baby
- A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. About nine months later, just about the...
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jobeman1296Uploaded 01/23/2009 -
- 184k Views
- 515 Comments
- 9 Favorites
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Music Farting
- You are on the bus when you suddenly realize ... you need to fart. The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat. After a...
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jobeman1296Uploaded 01/22/2009
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- 100k Views
- 673 Comments
- 15 Favorites
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Huge Insect
- A family are driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen. Embarrassed, and to spare her young...
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yuri_vaultinUploaded 01/21/2009
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- 201k Views
- 620 Comments
- 34 Favorites
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Dilbert's Words of Wisdom
- 1.) I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either. 2.) I love deadlines. I especially like...
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thelegenderyUploaded 01/20/2009
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- 97.7k Views
- 521 Comments
- 58 Favorites
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From Gynecologist to Mechanic
- A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful...
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Ryan1966Uploaded 01/19/2009
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- 111k Views
- 635 Comments
- 28 Favorites
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Bath Night
- A couple take on an 18-year-old girl as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath but the woman of the house told her they didn't have a...
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filltimeUploaded 01/17/2009
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- 212k Views
- 602 Comments
- 15 Favorites
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And Then The Fight Started
- My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?' I said, 'Dust.' And then the fight started... ...
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bcems33Uploaded 01/16/2009
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- 320k Views
- 522 Comments
- 79 Favorites
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15 Signs You Are a Drunk
- 15 - You spent Sunday night in jail for cow-tipping — with your Oldsmobile. 14 - Although armed with fire extinguishers, friends stood at a...
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lepricon777Uploaded 01/16/2009
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- 129k Views
- 576 Comments
- 8 Favorites
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Unusual Interesting Facts
- 1. The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched." 2. "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in...
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xxyzzUploaded 01/16/2009
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- 125k Views
- 737 Comments
- 80 Favorites
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Definitions
- 1.) THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female.....Any part under a car's hood. Male.........The strap fastener on a woman's bra. 2.) VULNERABLE...
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thelegenderyUploaded 01/14/2009
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- 77.1k Views
- 590 Comments
- 17 Favorites
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Snow Plow
- One winter morning at breakfast a couple was listening to the radio. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8-10 inches of snow...
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osiris0900Uploaded 01/11/2009
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- 90.7k Views
- 960 Comments
- 11 Favorites
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My Dear Watson
- Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to...
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JJthebear7272Uploaded 01/11/2009
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- 84.2k Views
- 574 Comments
- 14 Favorites
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Very Punny 2
- I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came...
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pepsicola88Uploaded 01/08/2009
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- 73.6k Views
- 543 Comments
- 8 Favorites
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Very Punny
- The pediatrician was a real kidder. A boating accident between the yacht, Red Dawn, and the schooner, Blue Lagoon, left the survivors...
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pepsicola88Uploaded 01/08/2009
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- 91.2k Views
- 552 Comments
- 12 Favorites
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Sweet Revenge
- One day a construction worker left the job a little early, and when he got home he found his wife in bed with another man. Purple with rage, he...
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buddha247Uploaded 01/09/2009
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- 94.6k Views
- 789 Comments
- 12 Favorites
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A Good Wank
- A young boy of about fourteen and his father are avid woodsmen. One day, on a trip to the country, dusk catches them in the woods. They set up...
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lorddreadUploaded 01/08/2009
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- 208k Views
- 1158 Comments
- 12 Favorites
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William and Dad
- One Sunday morning William burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most...
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thelegenderyUploaded 01/07/2009
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- 107k Views
- 765 Comments
- 11 Favorites
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Great Classifieds
- FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites! FREE PUPPIES 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog. FREE...
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lorddreadUploaded 01/06/2009
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- 98k Views
- 517 Comments
- 20 Favorites
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Alcohol and Hot Dogs
- One night two drunks were wandering the town trying to get drinks, but between the two of them, they only had a dollar and change. So the first...
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RileyUploaded 01/02/2009
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- 110k Views
- 482 Comments
- 20 Favorites
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The Silent Treatment
- A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the...
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breenaUploaded 01/02/2009
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- 120k Views
- 477 Comments
- 15 Favorites
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African King
- The beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a sight seeing tour with a very rich African king who was a very important client. Out...
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cityboy1022Uploaded 01/02/2009
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- 158k Views
- 534 Comments
- 14 Favorites
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Mom and Uncle Frank
- It's Saturday morning and Bob's just about to set off on a round of golf, when he realizes that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who fixes...
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mangwowUploaded 12/31/2008
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- 111k Views
- 424 Comments
- 27 Favorites
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Divorce Court
- A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?" She replied,...
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lorddreadUploaded 12/31/2008
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- 100k Views
- 796 Comments
- 12 Favorites
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Things to do on an Elevator
- 1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask “Got enough air in there?” 2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing...
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FuglitiousUploaded 12/30/2008
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- 110k Views
- 833 Comments
- 71 Favorites
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Indian Student
- It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade. The teacher said,...
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thelegenderyUploaded 12/29/2008
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- 81.3k Views
- 723 Comments
- 22 Favorites
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Give Women...
- If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you...
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theo2Uploaded 12/26/2008
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- 122k Views
- 473 Comments
- 23 Favorites
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Santa's Finger
- A little boy sits on Santa's lap. Santa says "I bet I know what you want for Christmas," and with his finger he taps the boys nose with every...
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ebaumUploaded 12/10/2007
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- 144k Views
- 674 Comments
- 14 Favorites
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Need a Push
- A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the...
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jpcrf250Uploaded 12/22/2008
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- 90.5k Views
- 607 Comments
- 11 Favorites
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A Christmas Poem
- 'Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat The doors were all bolted, and the...
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sparks158Uploaded 12/19/2008
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- 73.9k Views
- 415 Comments
- 26 Favorites
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$50 or $10,000?
- A man, his wife, and his mother-in-law go on holiday to the Holy Land. While they are there the mother-in-law dies. The local undertaker tell...
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guinness13494Uploaded 12/19/2008
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- 112k Views
- 552 Comments
- 18 Favorites
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The Five Rules For Men To Follow To A Happy Life
- 1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job. 2. It's important to have a woman,...
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dirtysanchez10Uploaded 12/19/2008
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- 130k Views
- 791 Comments
- 50 Favorites
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The Bathtub Test
- Bathtub Test During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the Director how do You determine whether or not a patient should be...
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mrsirsouthUploaded 12/18/2008
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- 105k Views
- 598 Comments
- 17 Favorites
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Lawyer Joke
- The madam opened the brothel door in Winnipeg and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early...
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MBeastMan51Uploaded 12/17/2008
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- 104k Views
- 671 Comments
- 16 Favorites
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Take a Hike
- A father came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a very fancy new 10 speed bike. "Where did you get the money for the...
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thelegenderyUploaded 12/15/2008
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- 94.6k Views
- 743 Comments
- 5 Favorites
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Keep Quiet
- Two guys go hunting. Jerry has never gone hunting while Joe has hunted all his life. When they get to the northern Wisconsin woods, Joe...
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thelegenderyUploaded 12/15/2008
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- 99.7k Views
- 928 Comments
- 5 Favorites
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Funny Warning Labels
- In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods...
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aimeelee143Uploaded 12/08/2008
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- 121k Views
- 858 Comments
- 31 Favorites
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Congrats! joecacaUploaded 04/01/2022 - Submissions (8)
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