10 Video Game Remasters So Bad They're Crimes

These developers couldn't even hit Copy + Paste correctly.

By PocketEpiphany

Published 4 years ago in Funny

Video game remasters can be a beautiful thing. Titles like Halo: The Master Chief Collection and Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening modernize the games of yesteryear with breathtaking graphics and addictive gameplay.

But every now and then, a remaster is so bad it makes us retroactively hate the original.

What are these titles you should avoid at all cost? We’ve got a breakdown of ten remastered games that were so awful they should have been burned on sight.

1
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles In Time Re-Shelled

For '80s kids, the Ninja Turtles arcade games were the stuff of legend. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles In Time Re-Shelled was an update of the second arcade game, but it replaced the charming sprite graphics with ugly 3D models.

They didn’t even update the gameplay, making it a slog to beat a game where you can do nothing but jump or attack.

2
Final Fantasy VI (iOS & Android)

The point of a remaster is to improve the graphics, right? The makers of the smartphone version of Final Fantasy VI didn’t get the memo.

The killer SNES graphics have were replaced with bland backgrounds and forgettable character designs. This is arguably the worst way to play one of the best RPGs of all time.

3
Dead Rising: Chop Till You Drop

The quickest way for a remaster to ruin the original game is to remove everything players loved. That’s the case with the Wii remaster of Dead Rising.

It manages to look worse (sorry, Nintendo fans) while taking away the open-world design, your camera, and certain bosses. But it’s very interactive: you’ll certainly feel like a mindless zombie as you play.
4
Bully: Scholarship Edition

The original Bully was like a hidden gem of a game obscured by the success of bigger Rockstar titles like Grand Theft Auto III. But this remastered version is terrible on every level.

The updated character models look awful, many missions are missing, and the game had a tendency to crash. Then again, after playing for a bit the crashes may be a relief.

5
MediEvil

Sometimes, a remaster changes too much that we love. And sometimes, like with MediEvil, it doesn’t change enough. This charming and spooktacular classic PSX game got a modern facelift that didn’t add much beyond a crappy camera and bad hit detection.

Movement and combat still play much like the PSX version, which just felt clunky for a 2019 game. Unless you want to scream at your screen, you should skip this one.
6
Assassin's Creed: The Ezio Collection

The Assassin’s Creed series has had its ups and downs, but the second game and its two sequels are generally beloved by fans.

You’d think this modern update of that trilogy would be a slam dunk, but many of the graphics look worse thanks to bad color grading and the lack of the fog and lighting effects.

Between this and the lack of gameplay tweaking, you may as well just load up the original games.
7
GoldenEye 007 Reloaded

In some ways, GoldenEye 007 Reloaded was doomed from the start. It’s a retelling of the Nintendo GoldenEye story, but you now inexplicably play as Daniel Craig’s Bond instead of Pierce Brosnan's.

Gameplay is dark and stealthy whereas the original was a bright “run and gun” action game. Worst of all, the multiplayer is phoned in whereas the original multiplayer defined a generation.

8
Warcraft III: Reforged

While Warcraft II was great, Warcraft III laid the groundwork for World of Warcraft.

You’d think the remake would be an instant classic, but Warcraft III: Reforged added a terrible interface while making the gameplay much worse. And in modern day Blizzard tradition, the company overpromised and underdelivered, eventually forcing many of the unwanted new features on the original game.
9
Conker: Live and Reloaded

The classic advice “less is more” doesn’t apply to remakes, and Conker: Live and Reloaded is proof of that.

The remake removes certain sections of the original game while censoring much of the original title’s raunchiness and vulgarity. While Conker's Bad Fur Day was notorious in N64's heyday, this compromised remake is simply notoriously bad.
10
Night Trap

A generation of gamers heard about this game being full of horrifying enemies and scantily clad women, but they couldn’t play unless they had a Sega CD. The game finally got a multiplatform remaster and...it may be the worst game ever made.

The monsters are Spirit Halloween bargain bin rejects, the acting is terrible, and this game has none of the T&A you were expecting. The remaster makes no gameplay improvements, meaning this title is just as bad as it always ways.