10 Characters From Games Who Probably Love Feet
You know us: we don’t like to yuck anybody’s yum around here. But face it...some “yums” are weirder than others. And a foot fetish is...
Published 3 years ago in Funny
And a foot fetish is at the top of that list. Of course, some of your favorite video game characters likely have a foot fetish. Here are the characters that are probably a little too into feet.
1
Bill Clinton
These days, most sports games strive for excruciating realism. But back in the day, the primary charm of NBA Jam was that it was over-the-top in all the best ways.
The home console port of this game featured special characters you could unlock. Wildly enough, one of those characters was then-president Bill Clinton. Considering we know some of Clinton’s alleged kinks (ranging from weird cigar stuff to signing Monica’s dress with a very different kind of pen), we feel safe that he has had “sexual relations” with some feet over the years.2
Bigfoot
Bigfoot in the GTA series feels really meta. There used to be rumors of Bigfoot sightings way back in the days of San Andreas, but that turned out just to be a mixture of player hoaxes and a willingness to believe. Eventually, though, the character made a proper appearance in Grand Theft Auto V.
How do we know Bigfoot is a foot guy, though? First of all, “foot” is right there in his name. Second, if Bigfoot likes to eat people, we can only assume he has started with the feet on at least one occasion!3
Barry Burton
The original Resident Evil is notorious for its terrible dialogue. Some gamers hate the dialogue to this day, but others see the cheesy dialogue as a way of giving this game some B-movie charm.
However you see it, Barry’s line to Jill, who barely dodged a falling ceiling trap, quickly became the most infamous. He warned her that she was nearly “a Jill sandwich.” And if Barry is already thinking of Jill as food, we’re willing to believe he has tasted some toes as a prelude to lovemaking.4
Francis York Morgan
At first, you might not peg Francis York Morgan as a foot guy. After all, this weird FBI agent from Deadly Premonition doesn’t exactly come across as a sexual creature.
But at one point, he eats “The Sinner’s Sandwich.” This is a sandwich made of turkey, bread, strawberry jam, and cereal. If he’s willing to put something that strange in his mouth, we’re sure a foot has gone in there at least once.5
Tingle
There is no better representative of Eastern vs. Western differences than Tingle. Most Western audiences think the big man dressing like a soyfaced fairy is pretty weird. But Japan loves this dude and they keep finding new games to cram him into.
Anyway, this is a fat dude who cosplays as a fairy every single day, so it’s safe to say that he is into some weird stuff. And given his fascination with colorful rupees, we can only imagine what he’d do if he saw some painted toenails.6
Blanka
Out of all the Street Fighter characters, you might be surprised that Blanka has a thing for feet. But it all ties back to this man’s origin.
Blanka’s whole deal is that he survived a plane crash as a boy and then got mutated by some electric eels (no, really). This gave him freaky powers that he could do almost anything with. But what he chose to do was keep entering a tournament where he’d get Ryu and Ken’s big, naked, dirty feet flying near his mouth time after time!7
Voldo
How do we know Voldo lets his freak foot flag fly? Once again, we’re going to have to say it: just look at the guy!
This SoulCalibur character looks like someone collected all the FetLife fetishes and turned them into a person. Because of this, we are confident that Voldo isn’t just into feet. This dude is into stuff we don’t even have names for yet!8
Kilton
Kilton is on this list due more to a loophole than anything else. For example, when we were compiling characters that were really into feet, we didn’t put a limit on what they wanted to do with the feet.
If you don’t know Kilton’s deal, he’s the Breath of the Wild character that trades for body parts from monsters so he can make weird things out of them. He’s basically an Ed Gein NPC, and we have no doubt whatsoever that he would find a use for some feet (be they human, monster, or anything in between!9
Birdo
Birdo isn’t just into feet. In fact, it’s fair to say that Birdo’s love of feet answers the classic gamer question for this character: “what that mouth do?”
It’s not so crazy to imagine that freaky mouth is made for sucking toes. And if Birdo fires any toes towards Mario, we can’t say it’s any weirder than eggs, fireballs, and God only knows what else comes out of that mouth.10
Waluigi
Yeah, Waluigi is our primary suspect when it comes to who is a foot freak or not. And why is that? Hell, just look at him!
Wario looks like the kind of guy who tied ladies to railroad tracks in silent films. Sure, he might be a tad less murderous now, but we’re willing to bet it takes some kinky stuff to get this dude off.
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