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Jim Raynor has quite the character arc. By the time Starcraft 2 rolls around, this disgraced rebel is constantly throwing back spirits between missions.
Of course, you might say that a few drinks between missions don’t make Raynor an alcoholic. However, while developing Starcraft II, Chris Metzen wanted to make Raynor into a full-blown alcoholic. And his struggles with alcoholism were going to be a major part of the story.
The developers ultimately didn’t go this route, but they kept Raynor’s depression and hard-drinking ways in the game. And we’re pretty sure Arcturus Mengsk wouldn’t hesitate to issue a DUI whenever Raynor was drunk-driving his Vulture all over the place.
Yes, Virginia, Wario is on a list of video game heroes. Once the Wario Land games came out, Wario was a Nintendo protagonist, even if he wasn’t always what we’d call a “good guy.”
Starting in Wario Land 2, he could end up in a “crazy Wario” state that made him hard to control. And in that game, the transformation happened when Wario was hit by bottles thrown by penguins.
However, those “balls” the penguins throw were mugs of beer in the Japanese version. They caused Wario to change color, and he had to jump in the water to clear his head. If Wario spent an entire game getting lit by his enemies, we’re pretty sure you don’t want to share a track with this guy in Mario Kart.
Most of the characters on this list are here because we have seen them throwing back more than a few drinks or getting absolutely smashed on occasion. And then there is Niko Bellic.
Compared to the hard-drinking characters around him, Niko stands out for often refusing alcohol when it is offered. And when he does drink, he sometimes expresses a desire to do so in moderation.
Which, you know? Good for him. But someone this anal-retentive about his alcohol consumption likely found out what his limits were the hard way. And players can make him into as much of a raging alcoholic as they want by drinking with others.
You might be surprised to see Solid Snake on this list. After all, when he is on a mission, Snake seems to prefer cigarettes to alcohol.
But Snake in retirement likes to drink. His love of alcohol was hinted at in Ghost Babel, and then outright stated in Metal Gear Solid 2 when he laments that his retirement was just him being “holed up in Alaska, drinking too much.”
Snake’s love of commandeering vehicles and his love of drinking likely combined into at least one DUI. Fortunately, he knows a few people who can make that go away!
To some degree, putting Rick Sanchez on this list is a bit of a cheat. After all, being a belligerent drunk is arguably the primary defining quality for this Rick and Morty star.
Nonetheless, Rick is the star of multiple video game adaptations, including our favorite: Virtual Rick-ality. The plot involves sending a poor Morty clone on a series of meaningless tasks, most of which end up with Morty’s death and resurrection.
Brilliant as he is, Rick is also a drunk with no regard for his grandson's life. And may God have mercy on anyone sharing the road with Rick when he is behind the wheel.
Team Fortress 2 paved the way for later character-driven shooters like Overwatch and Apex: Legends. And the characters are fun and colorful, including the Demoman.
However, one of Demoman’s defining qualities is his love of alcohol. Videos and comics constantly show him getting drunk, and a liquor bottle is the guy’s default melee weapon.
How much of a DUI risk is this dude? In one TF2 comic, we see him just casually drinking pure hydrogen peroxide that he gets from the Medic!
There were several Mass Effect characters we could have added on here, including Commander Shepard. But our favorite drunk kicking around on the Normandy is Tali’Zorah.
After a particular mission with Miranda, Tali ends up finding creative ways to get drunk off of Turian brandy. She slurs about how the straw in her glass is her “emergency induction port.” Later on, you can find Tali drunkenly collapsed on the floor.
We don’t want to judge Tali in her moments of depression and weakness. But if she is getting blackout drunk and openly whining about her daddy issues after one hard mission, we can only imagine she has drunkenly crashed a space car at some point or another.
In the days of the Nintendo 64, Conker’s Bad Fur Day was a shockingly weird little game. The usually family-friendly Nintendo had suddenly cranked out one of the filthiest video games ever made.
And it all centered on the foul-mouth squirrel Conker. We see this little dude engage in binge drinking, and his entire adventure begins when he wakes up in an unfamiliar place with a wicked hangover.
Basically, anyone that drinks themselves into a blind stupor and travels long distances with no memory of this event is going to be an absolute drunken maniac on the road.
Max Payne is another character whose alcoholism is canonical. And by the time you play Max Payne 3, you see just how bad off this character really is.
In May Payne 2, we see that Max is addicted to both alcohol and painkillers. And your character must overcome this substance addiction in order to eventually save the day.
Nothing wrong with a good redemption arc. But there was a good, long time where Max Payne would be a menace to the world while driving a car.
Is anyone really surprised that Duke Nukem probably has a DUI on his record? He is a stereotypical tough guy and loves to kick back with brews and babes when he is not clashing with alien invaders.
And when it finally came out, Duke Nukem Forever made his reliance on alcohol canonical. Duke now drinks beer to toughen up and reduce damage, all while fighting through blurry vision and weird slow-motion effects.
Basically, when a character swaps medkits for beer, we are reasonably sure we don’t trust him behind the wheel.
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