Trump Didn't Lose the Election

The most common conspiracy we've all heard, and some continue to believe it. Apparently by repeating over and over again that Trump will have a second term will simply make it so.

Trump Will Arrest Everyone

Another widely popular theory is that Trump is planning to arrest basically everyone who didn't for for him (and some who did) under the vague charge that they're "traitors."

However, as the dates for these mass arrests keeps getting pushed back, it seems unlikely that it's ever going to happen.

No One Will Be President

An off shoot of the "Trump will arrest everyone" conspiracy is the idea that the country has gotten so out of control, the U.S. Army will stand up and take over.

It's sort of a zero sum game approach to the presidency, saying, "Well if we can't have Trump then you can't have Biden and we don't get any president."

Trump Is Biden

This one takes a queue from the movie Face/Off, in which John Travolta and Nicolas Cage surgically swap faces, and posits that Trump and Biden have already undergone this procedure.

This scenario solves a lot of problems for die-hard Trump supporters, because if Trump is Biden and Biden is Trump, then anything Biden gets praised for, they can celebrate as a covert victory by Trump. And anything Trump gets punished for, they can cheer on as a lashing for Biden.

To be honest, probably the best of all the theories.

Trump Will Blackmail Everyone

One idea claims Trump has covertly rounded up the richest, most powerful business people and politicians in the U.S., and forced video confessions out of every last one of them about their big, horrible crimes against humanity.

Trump will then use the country's emergency broadcast system to make everyone watch these videotaped confessions, which will I guess automatically get all these people arrested and let Trump continue as president by default?

The details on this are a little hazy and it's not very promising that this video premiere seems to have missed its deadline, but you never know...it could pop up at the last minute.

Barron Trump Is QAnon

This one may not be a fully fleshed out conspiracy, but if Trump's son Barron were Q, he could probably finagle a way to keep his dad in the White House, right?

Barron may love watching anime and playing Roblox, but he probably steers clear of 8 kun.

Trump Is a Traitor

If Trump's plan to arrest the big wig's doesn't work out, another idea floating around is that Trump will turn on his loyal fans and have all of them arrested.

This may not secure his position as president, but I guess it could gain him enough favor among the mainstream media that they drop any investigations into his illegal business practices?

Seems kind of fishy, until you consider Trump's track record for backstabbing, and then it seems almost guaranteed.

The Inauguration Is Cancelled

Despite widespread debunking, some furiously believe Joe Biden's inauguration this week will be cancelled.

Maybe it's like a game then where if the winner can't have a victory ceremony they technically aren't a winner anymore and then the incumbent just gets to hang around a while longer?

Trump Is Relocating the White House

If anyone in the Trump administration could pull off this feat without being detected, by all accounts they should be allowed to stay in power.

Supposedly, Trump's team simply started moving all the presidential operations to another location, so when Biden arrives at the White House, there won't be anyone or any thing of importance inside.

The only problem with this sneaky tactic is it doesn't explain how Trump would convince the country that he's still in charge if another family is sleeping in the White House. This might just end up with people thinking we have two presidents, which wouldn't be good at all.

Trump Will Pull a John Wick

There's a vague notion online that Trump has some secret plan of attack that he's going to spring on everyone at the last minute that will keep him in office.

This plan could be literally anything, from committing murder to barricading the Oval Office doors to just gluing himself to the Resolute Desk. I can't wait to see what it is.

Trump Will Become the Backseat Driver

This theory is somewhat more grounded in reality, but it's still fairly ridiculous. Basically, although by all accounts Joe Biden will appear to be in charge, some how Trump will vaguely be operating in the shadows and giving orders to everyone.

Seems unlikely that Joe Biden will just sit there and do whatever Trump tells him to do, but then again, perhaps Trump has some serious dirt on Biden that he's holding over his head.

Although considering the damning stuff he already promoted from Hunter Biden's crazy sex tapes, it's hard to think which skeletons in the Biden's closet could be even more haunting.