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1. He's Entitled
Superman gets all his powers simply from being from another planet. On Krypton, he's just an average schmuck, but because of planetary imbalances, on Earth he's a freakin' superhero.
Applauding Superman for any of his strength or "bravery" is like applauding Jeff Bezos for donating $1 million to some charity. It's too easy for him.
2. He Gets Whooped
Superman is constantly getting beat up. Bad guys just kick his ass left and right, and he rarely has it in them to fight back.
If he were truly super he should stand up for himself once in a while.
3. He's a Cuck
Superman straight up watched his girlfriend Lois Lane bang some other guy, and continued to pursue her.
Have some self-respect, SuperCuck.
4. He Let His Girlfriend Die
Pining for a woman who's sleeping with someone else is one thing, but then letting that woman die when you're an invincible super being from another planet is just pathetic.
You're supposed to rescue the damsel in distress, not let her die...idiot.
5. He Went on Life Support
How the hell is Superman gonna end up in the ICU? This broke jackass is supposed to be INVINCIBLE.
Also, who's paying for that hospital bill? Broke boy here ain't got health insurance, so you know he's just a leech on privatized medicine.
6. He's a Drunk
We all go through it once in a while, but Superman really lost it when he became a lazy drunk.
That 'S' on his chest definitely doesn't stand for 'sober.'
7. He Almost Drowned
Again...is this man not supposed to be invincible? Yet here he is being drowned in some water like a complete fool.
Superman basically needs a Life Alert bracelet to call for help every time he gets into a fight.
8. He's a Crybaby
How many tears must he shed before enough's enough? OK, his parents died and that's a bummer, but Superman cries about almost everything.
His nickname is supposed to be Man of Steel, not Man of Emotional Vulnerability.
9. You Know Who's Better? Lex Luthor
Unlike Superman, Lex Luthor is just a man who aspired to greatness, and achieved it by his own means. He wasn't born into it like Superman.
Lex Luthor is actually the enviable protagonist of the Superman stories.
10. Why Is Lex Luthor Better Than Superman?
Check out his girlfriend from the original 1978 movie. She thicc and classy. You can't land a woman like this without being a true gentleman of merit
Lex Luthor = Chad
Superman = Virgin
11. Lex Luthor's Also Ambitious and Self-Respecting
Lex is a man who knows what he wants and takes it. Money? Check. Huge mansion? Check. Optimism and confidence to make his dreams of destroying the world come true? Big check.
Meanwhile, Superman is playing dress up as an illiterate nerd. No child should look up to that as a role model.
12. Lastly, Lex Luthor Is a Man of Knowledge
Have you seen this dude's library? He's got enough books to make Shakespeare cum.
Meanwhile, it's unclear if Superman ever even learned to read. Like the meathead he is, he just wants to skate by in life on his looks and inherited physical wealth.
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