Dubious Food (Breath of the Wild)

Every now and then, even the game is aware of how weird and nasty a recipe sounds. And that’s certainly the case with the Dubious Food from Breath of the Wild.

Recipes for Dubious Food include combining Rock Salt, Hearted Durian, and Hot-Footed Frog. But how does it look and smell? According to the game, “It's too gross to even look at. A bizarre smell issues forth from this heap. Eating it won't hurt you though...probably."

With a description like that, what could possibly go wrong?

Weird Extract (Super Paper Mario)

You might not expect Mario to have the greatest food advice in the world. As near as we can tell, he subsists entirely on mushrooms and flowers. But in Super Paper Mario, we get a recipe for something called Weird Extract.

There are only two ingredients here: Peach Juice (no relation to Princess Peach, you pervs) and hot sauce. Combining the two gives you Weird Extract, a substance that helps put your enemies to sleep.

Not only does this sound like it would be disgusting to drink, but we’re pretty sure something so gross would be unlikely to put anyone to sleep. Unless “puts them to sleep” is a friendly Mario euphemism for “puts them into the ground.”

Survival Burger (Stardew Valley)

At some point in time, all of us have eaten a “struggle meal” or two. And in Stardew Valley, the best example of a struggle meal is the Survival Burger.

The only ingredients for this burger are bread, eggplant, and a cave carrot. Even if you’re trying to rock a vegetarian or vegan diet, this is the kind of meal that screams “I put random stuff between bread and I’m pretending this is a meal.”

The Survival Burger may keep you alive. But as you eat it, ask yourself: are you really living?

Apple Cabbage Stew (Skyrim)

Some of the recipes on this list had the potential to be good. However, if you tried to make the recipe using only the ingredients given, you’d probably die.

That’s the case with the Apple Cabbage Stew from Skyrim. This could be a fun flavor combination, but the only ingredients are red apples, green cabbages, and a salt pile. If you made this without adding anything else, you’d just get a salty mess that leaves you running for a glass of water.

Stuffed Tequila (Monster Chef)

Every now and then, a game manages to make a nasty recipe seem even worse by giving us a picture. And that’s the case with the Stuffed Tequila drink in Monster Chef.

There are different recipes for making this drink, including one that simply requires combining rice and cactus to create the titular tequila. But the image clearly shows us monstrous garnishments, including what looks like a claw and an eyeball.

Maybe that’s better, though, than simply finding a tequila worm by accident!

Moist Tomato Cake (Final Fantasy XV)

Even the names of some of these recipes sound cursed. For example, Final Fantasy XV’s “Moist Tomato Cake” sounds like a strange paradox of a meal.

What goes in it, exactly? The game only tells you to combine a Killer Tomato with Fine Cleigne Wheat. Some intrepid gamers have tried to make this in real life by adding more proper cake ingredients, but the combination of sweet and savory elements almost always comes out tasting hideous.

Grog (The Secret of Monkey Island)

In The Secret of Monkey Island, grog takes on an almost mythological element. Various pirate leaders aren’t entirely sure what goes in it, but they collectively offer you some important clues.

Depending on who you talk to, grog might contain kerosene, axle grease, sulphuric acid, battery acid, pepperoni, propylene glycol, and more. If even a fraction of these ingredients are in that drink, then grog sounds like one of the worst drinks on the planet.

Energizing Elixir (Breath of the Wild)

Breath of the Wild introduced crafting to the Zelda franchise in a big way. And while some of the recipes sound very tasty, others sound fairly crazy.

And crazy is exactly how we’d describe the Energizing Elixir. In this simple dish, you combine either an Energetic Rhino Beetle or Restless Cricket with some Monster Parts and you’re in business.

In-game, this elixir helps restore your stamina. But in real life, combining things like monster teeth and horns with bugs is likelier to help send you to the bathroom instead of to the battlefield.

Slocum’s BuzzBites (Fallout 4)

Even with nasty-sounding recipes, we can usually see the method behind the madness. But with Slocum’s BuzzBites from Fallout 4, madness is all that is left.

This food is meant to be a tasty donut hole. But the ingredients require Mirelurk eggs, oil, razorgrain, dirty water, and a coffee tin. When your fun food item sounds like something developed in a prison, players are likely to stay away.

Crunchy Spider Skewer (Elder Scrolls Online)

In games, adventurers don’t always have access to a full kitchen and a stocked pantry. This forces characters to get creative with their food. But that’s still not enough to make us forgive the Crunchy Spider Skewer from Elder Scrolls Online).

The recipe calls for combining Acai berry and seasoning with spider eggs and crawlers that you find throughout the game. From where I’m standing, it looks like spider eggs inside your belly are even scarier and nastier than spider eggs anywhere else!

Vim Quartz (Fallout 4)

The Fallout franchise has some pretty iconic food and drink items, including the famous Nuka Cola. But Fallout 4 gives us a little more info about how some of this food and drink is made, and the Vim Quartz drink sounds downright horrific.

This nasty drink combines Vim (a kind of stimulating drink) with carrots and bubblegum. Imagine blending a Monster Energy Drink with veggies and bubblegum and you might just be ready for the nearest Lurker to kill you.

Horker and Ash Yam Stew (Skyrim)

For some of these dishes, figuring out what they might taste like requires a bit of imagination. And one of the best examples of this is the Horker and Ash Yam Stew in Skyrim.

While Horkers are canonically hunted for their meat, these blubbery baddies don’t look too tasty. And the stew recipe wants you to combine this meat with garlic and ash yam to create a stew. That might have been fine, but ash yam is most likely tough and bitter (reflecting the Ashland area).

Just imagine strips of blubbery meat from a killer walrus combined with nasty ash flavoring and a bit of garlic. I’d rather get killed by a dragon than tuck into that!

Fluffy Mackerel Pudding (Dragon Age)

Some of the dishes on this list might sound tasty until you realize what’s inside them. However, Dragon Age’s Fluffy Mackerel Pudding doesn’t even manage to sound appealing.

Based on an old Weight Watchers recipe (no, really), this dish combines poached mackerel with celery, pepper, onion, mustard, salt, mace, Ativan pepper, cardamom seed, and eggs into an absolutely disgusting sounding pudding.

No wonder this was a Weight Watchers item. With food this nasty, you’ll never want to take another bite!

Murloc Fin Soup (WoW)

According to World of Warcraft, Murloc Fin Soup is easy enough to make. All you have to do is combine a couple of Murloc fins with some hot spices. But would you ever really want to?

Keep in mind that Murlocs are intelligent creatures with their own cultures and settlements. Even if this soup is the tastiest thing on the planet, murdering Murlocs just to make soup is immoral and disgusting in pretty much every way!

The Sinner’s Sandwich (Deadly Premonition)

We’re probably not meant to take anything in Deadly Premonition too seriously. But we still can’t get over how foul the Sinner’s Sandwich sounds.

The ingredients include turkey, strawberry jam, and cereal. The sandwich gets its name because protagonist York thinks anyone eating this thing must be atoning for their sins. But he is pleasantly surprised when he tries it and ends up thinking it’s delicious.

We’ll just have to take your word on that, York!