Bartender here, was very mad at my boss for degrading women and coming onto mine and other people's girlfriends (I'll spare the details, he overserves then gets creepy)

Well that day in a text he tried to blame the women for his behavior, I was absolutely fuming, ended up comping a couple of women's tabs

Near the end of the night I decided since he felt entitled to violate their boundaries, I would violate his eyes.

Cue drunk me going in the office, closing the door, facing the camera, and yelling HEY BOSS DO YOU CHECK THE CAMERAS?!?! While waving my d*ck at the camera

I was not reprimanded whatsoever

He's still himself but since then his behavior has definitely improved, probably to make sure he never sees it again.

Drunkenly made plans to view an apartment on impulse when I was visiting Chicago. Originally supposed to move to Aspen. Woke up the next morning to my alarm going off telling me about the showing. Ended up liking it. Got approved. Got a great job.

I out-danced about 3 or 4 other girls on a random stripper pole at a bar once, whilst on Bicardi 151 (just to drive the point home, I'm a straight white male who hates dancing).

Rode my bike down 2 flights of stairs, including a hairpin turn between the flights, and f*cking stuck it. Some friends still have the video and I looked like a f*cking stud. Like a trained stunt man.

Approached two women at a club who were sitting alone and offered them a drink. I then asked them to dance. One thing led to another and had my first (and only) threesome. I’m a shy person and have anxiety so I never ever approach women like that. I was on one that night.

Basically became a fat flip-flop-wearing ninja. Scaled a mass transit overpass, climbed up the air shaft, slid back down without breaking anything. All while drinking beers, and liquor I had stashed in my cargo shorts pockets.

Drunk me was at a bar once, talking loud and gesticulating wildly to a group of similarly inebriated friends. One of the said friends thought it would be a good idea to pants drunk me. Not only did he pull drunk me's pants down, but his underwear as well.

Drunk me decided, in a split second, that the best reaction was no reaction. He continued his story and his wild gesticulation as if nothing had happened. After over a minute had passed, the friend who did the pantsing got embarrassed and pulled drunk me's pants and underwear back up.

He got embarrassed. Not drunk me, because drunk me had nothing to be embarrassed about. There is something profound to be learned from that exchange, but it is something I would never do sober.

Won a freestlye rap battle in Mexico at a club.

Opened up my emotions and mental health struggles to my friends. Woke up the next morning filled with regret until I was met with unconditional support and encouragement from them.

Told my boss I needed a raise.

Drunk me bought this beautiful sewing machine that I had been eyeing for months.

I totally forgot about it and a while later, BAM! my dream machine was at my door.

Best. Day. Ever.

I drunk buy things on eBay. I hate spending so it helps. That’s how I got my new PC at a really good price.

Drunk me wrote a note to myself telling me to stop drinking. It worked.

Was so drunk on wine one night I decided to go down the street and clean the community gazebo. Brought a bucket, water and soap and started cleaning the table and chairs of all the pollen and dirt. Guess drunk me thought it was time for community service.

Homework for a class last semester. Got a 100% on it and a nice comment from my prof.

Similar problem on the exam and sober me couldn't channel the knowledge that drunk me has.

Asked a guy I had been circling "if he was going to kiss me or what". Married 28 years. Sometimes a gal has to be very clear on her intentions.

One time in college, I got blackout drunk at a party. Woke up the next day around 2 or 3 pm, hungover as f*ck. As I’m trying to collect myself, my phone buzzes, and I see it’s a notification from GrubHub that my order is on the way.

Except…I didn’t order any food? Or, I at least thought I didn’t. I checked my grub hub, and sure enough, my blackout ass ordered the greasiest Chinese food I could find, with a scheduled delivery of the following day at 4 pm. You know how you can write a note to the delivery guy/special instructions? Well, in that note I saw I had written “here you go buddy. Ur gonna need it”. I guess I still manage to look out for myself when I’m blackout.

Drunk me shot his shot with a girl well out of his league in a bar and got her number.

Sober me married her. Thanks drunk me!

Drunk me signed up for college. Sober me is terrified but gonna go ahead with it anyway.

Complimenting complete strangers on their look. Did this for 20 years in pubs and nightclubs, usually in the loos, until I realized that I didn't need to be drunk to be nice to strangers, so now I throw compliments out like, well, not confetti exactly, but I'm not stingy with them. I'm only sorry I waited so late in life to do this.

My French is noticeably better after a few drinks.

On my birthday I drank a little too much and fell victim to a blackout. I recall none of this as my sister had to tell me. I ended up at an after-hours and there was a pool table. I am a pretty avid player as it is but according to my sister, I couldn’t miss a shot. These guys I was playing thought they’d win some easy money off of me as I was so wasted. Ended up winning a few hundred off them before my sister dragged me out of the place in fear of my safety. I woke up the next morning with a chunk of cash in my pocket and was just totally confused as to how it got there.

Sent an email rejecting an offer for a dream job because the offer was too low for me. Didn’t sleep that night when I was sober. They came back with a better offer after 2 days.

Free solo'd (climbed with no ropes) the outside of my college's library. Several things are significant here: The library outside is made of brick with only some decoratively laid brick that protrudes on the corners. I am not an experienced climber by any means. I have no idea how I did it. I don't remember doing it. I wouldn't believe it if there wasn't a video of me doing it.

Sex with a girl that supposedly hated me.