"Stupid f**k fell for it." This from a student's parent while I was excusing their kid from an assignment they missed because their grandmother just died. She hadn't. Still, the kid wouldn't pass the class under any circumstances because he was a complete knob. Once I talked to his parents I knew why. So he still failed the class even without the assignment. So I know one of us was the stupid f**k, just not sure it's the same person they think it is.

"He thinks I'm still at work, baby."

A former colleague of mine said something in the line of ”god I hate that m**********r” after he hung up on our largest client, problem is he didn't hang up. Not the worst I heard, but we lost our biggest client, our reputation and in the end all our business. Some 25 people lost their jobs. Pro tip: don’t tie up 80% of your sales to one customer, also don’t tell that customer that you hate that m**********r.

My MIL had a new boss who hated her. She was about three years from retirement, and she felt like he was trying to push her out early so she’d lose part of her pension etc. She asked me to check her answering machine while she was gone after her mother died and let her know if anything important came in, and to water her plants. The third day or so I’d been there, there was a message from this boss giving his condolences. Then you could hear the click where he thought he’d hung up but must have placed the receiver just wrong and was still on the line. He ruthlessly made fun of her with his wife for the next five minutes before saying “Oh, s**t!” and hanging up. She was at a really low point in her life, and I didn’t have the heart to tell her or leave the message on the machine. It would have absolutely crushed her. But I did record it, and then I deleted it from her machine. Then I called that a*****e and told him what I had, why I wasn’t telling her RIGHT NOW (but absolutely would if needed in the future), and told him I’d better hear nothing but how wonderful work was going for her and how well she was treated until she retired. I told him I didn’t even understand what a piece of s**t you had to be to talk about someone like that behind their back, and especially at such a time in their life. And that’s exactly what happened. She had a wonderful last few years and figured that her mother dying had opened him up to treat her kindly and with respect. That was twenty years ago and I never told her and never will. I wouldn’t want to ever take those last few years there away from her.

My boyfriend, early on in our relationship, we would talk on the phone before going to sleep. He's terrible about hanging up first, so I got to hear him tell his cats about how cute I am

I was the third party in this. A coworker failed to hang up properly after a conversation with the boss and promptly went on a very creative expletive laden rant about the boss and what he should do with himself. As this went on I received a text from the boss suggesting I should inform the coworker that she’d not hung up. I got coworker’s attention and told them they hadn’t hung up. Still in expletive mode I was asked what made me think that. My response was ‘I got a text from boss’. First time I ever saw color literally drain from someone’s face.

called a tech support number for a work related issue during covid. guy was clearly at home and could hear a dog whining in the background. He got my error code straightened out we both said bye but before i could hang up my phone i heard whos a good boy! are you a good boy? i said quietly "I am" then just heard laughing and he said i am sooo sorry! then he hung up :( i wanted to hear his puppy.....

Not really crazy, but my grandparents would always call me from 2 different phones in their house so we could all talk. When they'd get my voicemail and leave a message, instead of hanging up they'd talk to each other. Usually silly things like "what's for dinner" and stuff like that, but it always made me smile. I wish there had been a way to keep them back then.

I have a friend that is awesome to hang out with but she can be super flakey. Her brother was dating another friend of ours, but they lived in Thailand together. The mutual friend was home for a bit, and was heading back the next morning, so we met up with a few other friends. The flakey friend said they would be there, but flaked. When I called to see if we could get a hold of her, it went to voicemail and I thought I hung up. Instead, she got a voicemail of an exasperated me saying “She always f*****g does this. I don’t think she shows up more than a third of the times we make plans.” She confided in me a year later that she’d got it, but thanked me because she said she hadn’t realized how bad she’d been about keeping plans. The voicemail had her reflecting, and she started making a point of keeping plans after that, said it helped improve her depression. I was so embarrassed, but I’m glad there was a happy ending.

I was leaving a message for a client about data conversion services. After I left the message I thought I had hung up (voip software on my work computer). I started singing the Mana Mana Doo Doo Dododo ( the Jim Henson song). Then noticed I hadn’t hung up. So I hang up. The next morning I come in to check the conversion voicemails and there is a very clear and professional message left from the client, he leaves contact number and says to have a nice day, there’s a short pause and then he sings the same song back in the message licking up where I hung up when I realized I was still on voicemail. It was hilarious and made my day.

I had a job where I was in a position to write-off a substantial phone bill, which the customer said was because her mother was dying overseas and she had dementia and needed to hear things in her voice to believe anything, including doctor’s instructions. She was heartbroken and sobbing about how if she had the kind of money to pay this phone bill, she would have just gone back to her country because the flight would have cost less (she was right about that). I wrote-off the entirety of the phone bill, she cried like a jilted lover in a rom-com and said people like me are angels from god etc. After I wished her a good evening and she thought the call was ended, she says to someone in a perfectly normal voice ‘Well, that worked!’

Not a crazy story but I had just finished talking to a client over the phone, we say our goodbyes, then I hear her ask "are you wearing pants today?" I wasn't sure how to answer that but I figure she was jokingly asking because everyone just started working from home due to covid. I just replied "Yes". She then burst out laughing trying to explaining that she thought she had already hung up and she was actually asking her husband that question. We laughed about it for about 3 mins before we actually hung up.

I was working in a Callcenter for some time, so I'd be calling around 30-40 people per day, which is exhausting work. There was this one particular call, I still remember very clearly. It wasn't crazy, but the situation was rather unexpected. So, I'd be calling a woman about the end of her thirties, we'd have the usual chat and she was readily replying to my questions, sometimes giggling and doing conversation outside the topic at hand. She was in a room with her daughter. When we ended the chat, I thanked her for her time and said my goodbye. A few seconds after that, she apparently thought I had already hung up and said to her daughter "my goodness! He's got the most pleasant voice." I was smiling beams for the rest of the day and did enjoy the work much more for the rest of the week.

Found out I was single this way back when I was in the Army. I got the chance to call my girlfriend and took it. It was a nice call; she told me what she'd been up to and all that. We made plans for some leave I would be getting soon, we said goodbye and she hung up I still had a few minutes so I just sat there, holding the phone so the next guy wouldn't hassle me for it, when I hear from the line: Male Voice: So when's he coming back? Ex-Girlfriend: Not for a couple of weeks, we have plenty of time. MV: You're going to break up with him before that, right? Ex: Of course! I hung up and felt like s**t, ghosted her when I went on leave, later found out she's been seeing the other guy for a while. Didn't see her for years and years, until one day, I was taking my kid to get pizza at a place in a strip mall and there she was, standing next to an SUV, staring at me like she'd seen a ghost. I waved, went inside and that was it.

Back when I still worked in a 911 center, I got a call that was pretty obviously a swatting attempt. Describing a hellish situation feet from them but silent in the background, normal tone of voice, phone not showing remotely near the area they're describing. (Note: I started two calls, one where they said it was in case it was true and one where their phone was actually showing with all the details so we were CYA in case of real issues, but actually investigating what was likely happening)... Anyway. After a bit they say they have to hang up because it's not safe to stay on the phone. Then I hear pocket rustling sounds and the same person talking in the background about how "that b***h Anna is gonna get what she deserves when them 'Poh-leece' show up and point them guns at her" and a bunch of laughing, clearly not meant to be heard by me. So I add that all in too. Anyway, PD found them pretty quick, because the area they were actually calling from was very low density population. Hearing them panic when they saw PD outside of their house was a special kind of fun.

I left a client a voicemail and thought I hung up but in fact I proceeded to talk baby talk to my roommates cat for several minutes while it was recording.

I have a "not muted" story Webex, 500 people on the call, right when everyone was getting used to working remotely. Whoever set it up didn't mute the audience by default. The chaos was amazing. Dozens of people simultaneously unmuted and going about their lives. Dogs barking, kids crying, kitchen utensils clanging, the call leaders PLEADING for people to mute themselves. My favorite part was when they had things mostly quiet, about 5 people were still unmuted, including one guy who thought he was muted who yelled "JESUS F*****G CHRIST PEOPLE, MUTE YOUR F*****G PHONES" before realizing he was not on mute. They threw in the towel and ended the 1.5 hour meeting after 15 minutes

Business conference call, the other side had asked some pretty stupid questions but was still poised to do >$1M worth of business with us. Thinking the call had ended, one guy in the room started calling them f*****g idiots and talking about how what they were trying to do was never going to work, etc. They didn't say anything else, but we all heard the sound of the other side disconnecting and they later reached out and said they were going to go in another direction.

I called a service provider who was supposed to order certificates of good standing from a state and they were late in sending them over. They told me there was a delay at the state’s office and gave me a new estimate. They forgot to hang up, and I heard them telling their coworker that they’d completely forgot to send in the time sensitive request in the first place. Never used them again

A doctor’s office: “f**k you, Dave!” I don’t know who Dave is. I’m not Dave.

Not sure if this fits I sat in on a remote interview. We were in the conference room with 2 screens - 1 showing the interviewee and the other showing us. Nearing the end of the interview I noticed my boss had seemed to develop an unusual neck spasm. He would face the screen then suddenly look to the side then face the screen again. At the end of the interview, as the candidate was exchanging thank you etc, I learnt over and asked if my boss was ok. His answer was just loud enough to be picked up by the microphone: if you twist fast enough you can see your own ear! Needless to say the job offer was not accepted

friend called me for a quick question followed by an a*s exploding in a toilet before he hung up. was not the type of friend to do that sort of thing so it was hilarious

That 911 call where the guy says “I honestly don’t give a s**t what happens to you”.

I work at a children's hospital, and anything serious like a Code Blue is called out hospital-wide over the loudspeakers by dialing a specific phone extension. There's been a few times where someone hit the hold button instead of end call, and the whole hospital gets to listen to the hold music until someone catches it. The worst/funniest though was a couple weeks ago. Every single employee, parent, and child in my world renowned children's hospital heard this poor guy scream "F**K" when he realized he was still on.

My father in law (who is 86) can't work his phone too well. He always, I mean always gets phone calls at dinner time. So once a week when he is over, he gets a call. And it's always from someone different. 9 times out of 10 he makes a smart remark about not liking them. 8 times out of 10 he hasn't hung up yet but thought he did. EDIT: Example Him: "Boy, they never stop talking" Me: "Ummm let me help you end this call"

“He said his biggest regret was losing me as his manager.” My boss talking to his daughter after I gave my notice. He was an average manager at best and I never really commented on his management skills one way or the other.

I was FaceTiming my parents shortly after I started dating my now wife. I’d had quite a dry spell and hadn’t dated anyone for a couple years. So I mentioned we were dating on the call and they were happy for me. We ended it and I just put my phone down to grab something without ending the call. Apparently my mom did too because after a few seconds I heard her say “Well I’m glad he’s having sex now!” Awkward but also I’m glad my mom is looking out for me!

After a business convo: 'I don't trust those guys'

Grandma left me a voicemail asking for my help with stuff on her computer. She thought she hung up but she didn’t and I hear her call me a “f*****g b***h.” Haven’t really talked to her since.

In the early days of Facebook, my former father in law was just discovering it and connecting with old friends. He was having fun seeing who gained weight, who got divorced, who’s a millionaire now, and so on. One guy he connected with gave him his phone number, so FIL calls him. He didn’t answer so he leaves a message something like “hey ‘bill’, it’s been a while just wanted to catch up, give me a call back at ‘*phone number*’,” and then hit the end button and jokingly said, “and I heard you got fat!” He then looked down and to his horror the call was still active and recording the message, so it probably sounded like “….and I heard you got fat!….oh s**t! Oh my god it didn’t hang up, f**k it’s still recor….(click). To my knowledge, dude never returned that call.

I worked in sales (inbound call) and had a pleasant conversation with a customer who politely declined the offer and told me she was going to look elsewhere. We said our goodbyes, nothing out of the ordinary. Really sweet lady, had called in with her husband. As soon as she thought she hung up, she slammed her phone down and starts yelling at her husband “f**k (company name) are you f*****g s******g me right now? $350 a f*****g year? I’m not paying that much for this goddamn piece of s**t (product) how the f**k could that b***h pitch that with a straight f*****g face?” I gave her the decency of hanging up myself after that but she was 100% in the right being pissed haha. Edit: inbound means she called us to update, not the other way around for those confused. I said she was justified because the company sucks d***s. It was exactly what she called in for, just with a price increase she wasn’t expecting.

last year, my job was monitoring call quality so I would usually listen to phone agents in real time. In one instance, there was a caller that was simply not understanding what was being said. After the agent got off the phone with him, there was a 3 second window where I can still hear the agent scream "JESUS, F**K HIM". Didn't mark them for it as the call had technically ended at that point. Another time where someone placed a caller on hold, but because of how the phone system works I can hear the agent even if the caller is hearing music. she placed the caller on hold to call her sister and plan a vacation.