Don't carve your name on stuff! The number of people who need to carve their names onto historical buildings and statues is just crazy. Don't be a jerk. You are ruining the place. And respect people's properties.

Going on the black rocks and being swept out to the Atlantic Ocean, risking the lives of first responders and locals many of whom are already traumatized from Swiss Air.

Deface world heritage sites for souvenirs or internet clout. For example: The Colosseum in Rome has graffiti carved into it's walls by arsehole tourists and Stone Henge is closed off to the public because arseholes were chipping pieces off for souvenirs.

For your sake, STOP TRYING TO PET THE BUFFALO! Or don't, some of us are entertained by the videos of you flying through the air.

Stop trying to hike up a mountain in flip-flops! Also, don't try to use an air mattress as a mode of transport between islands. Several of these every year...

Stopping their cars in the middle of the road to take in a view.

Saying, “I paid a lot to be here,” or "I’ll leave a horrible review.” Driving like a jerk, leaving garbage anywhere but a rubbish bin, stopping in the middle of the road to let out your family of 12 instead of pulling into the parking lot. I live in Hawaii and work only with tourists. Best yet, My company was asked to contact the cruise ship company to have them move the ship because it disrupted the sunset.

Driving drunk. I live in Sonoma County, California. Make sure you’ve got a sober driver. The roads around here are never more dangerous than winery tasting room closing time on a sunny weekend.

In my hometown, it somehow became a thing that tourists would rent mopeds. So when you are trying to get to work, you often get stuck behind a flock of tourists on mopeds, riding at 20MPH in formation so you cannot pass them. We are infested with gawking tourists moped gangs. If they want to rent mopeds, at least go the speed limit, and ride in a manner that allows others to pass you.

Stop feeding the dang seagulls…

Spain. We get a ton of tourists. The worst is littering on the beach, which is thankfully pretty rare. I occasionally see someone put a cigarette butt in the sand. A lot are taken away when they leave, but the sand has a way of hiding stuff, so a lot remains.

Allowing their kids to do whatever they want. Once a year my town has a weekend where the Boy Scouts take over the town camping down by the river, taking tours of the historic buildings etc. Every year most of the downtown shops will close for this weekend because of how much the Boy Scouts will steal or vandalize while there. Everyone that lives there dreads that weekend because the troop leaders just let the scouts do whatever they want.

Stop walking out into the middle of an active downtown street to take group pictures of yourselves in cheerleading outfits on the spot where Kennedy was shot.

Amsterdam. Walking around like they're at Legoland, blindly stepping into traffic, oblivious to the fact that people actually live here. We use the bike to get to work, to get groceries, we're not just aimlessly cycling around for the fun of it.

Stopping dead in a crowd in the middle of the sidewalk.

Leave. The. Wildlife. Alone. And this doesn't just extend to tourists but to people that live here too. 45+ coyote attacks last year in no small part because of people giving them food leading to a cull, bears getting habituated to people because they're being given food leading to them getting killed, otters and sea lions getting fed. They're not cute cuddly things. They're wild animals and will kill you.

Stop being a belligerent asshole just because you’re in “N’AWLINS.” It’s still not an excuse to get blackout drunk, litter, and make hell for food service workers.

Getting sh*tfaced / coked up and getting up in people's business or picking fights with the doorman or bar staff. Or talk about weed and getting stoned the entire time. Or ask me where the Red Light District is while standing in the Red Light district. Or renting a bike when the last time you rode one was in preschool.

Specifically regarding "Movie/TV Houses." Unless the house is a museum or has tours, it's almost certainly someone's home. Stay off their porch, don't walk through the yard, and STOP THROWING PIZZAS ON THE ROOF! The poor people who owned Walter White's house had to put up a giant fence because the dozens of signs about it were being ignored.

In New York, if you visit, please walk on the right side of the sidewalk, not the left. Also, if you need to stop and look at your phone or have a conversation with your fellow travelers, step aside. People are walking and if you abruptly stop it usually results in someone bumping into you. Also, do not walk like 5 people side by side and walking slowly. People can't get around you. It is infuriating. But, please keep visiting NYC!

Allow the me from 20 years ago to take this opportunity to officially apologize for recreating the Abby Road picture with my friends during a college trip to London.

Stop laying down next to the stars on the Hollywood walk of fame! Hollywood is filthy. Oh you laid down next to your favorite star? Congratulations. You’re now covered in homeless person piss and jizz. You should burn those clothes.

Nobody likes your f*cking drone.

Caribbean island ... people who complain that they can't get a Heineken or a Bud Light here. People who complain that they can't get fast food or chain food here. People who basically are angry that a tiny island in the Caribbean isn't just like the Houston suburbs. If you want everything you have in the US, stay the f*ck in the US. Also infuriating during the pandemic: "Your island requires masks and negative tests!? Well if you keep that up we will NOT be visiting and will take our money elsewhere!" Fine. Go elsewhere. We don't want you on our island, where the entirety of our healthcare is a small clinic with five beds. Don't threaten people with money, f*cking entitled jerks.

Clean up your f*cking trash. I used to live in a spring break destination which was a small surf town. After spring break, people would be cleaning up pounds upon pounds of beer cans, broken bottles, needles, and used condoms. It was revolting.