10 Undeniable Ways Sony Beat Microsoft in the Console Wars

The console wars are over, and Sony has won.

By nootens

Published 4 years ago in Funny

When do we know when the console wars are over? Do they last a few days, or is it a year-long battle for some vague sense of supremacy? Whatever the case, this year the battle has been won fair and square, and the PlayStation 5 came out on top.

While Microsoft's Phil Spencer made himself more available than ever to the gaming public to promote the Xbox Series X—and Sony's Jim Ryan stayed locked in his shiny tower—that didn't do enough to put the Series X ahead.

The PS5 beat the Series X in so many ways, but rather than present some stupid essay about why the PS5 is better, we'll just show the evidence in ten undeniable facts.

Congrats, Sony, you did it. Now go make me a sandwich.

2
PS5 Caused Massive Scams

Someone in Utah recently paid almost $900 for what he thought was a PS5, but when he opened the box, it turned out to just be filled with cement.

You have to be so desperate to own a PS5 to pay nearly double the price for an eBay listing, knowing good and well you may be getting completely ripped off.

3
PS5 Encouraged Theft

The black market prices on PS5s are so high, people in England have executed Fast and the Furious-esque heists to steal consoles from moving vehicles at 50mph.

Imagine the power this console has over people to make them risk their lives and jail time. The PS5 is a real winner indeed, innit?
4
PS5 Is a Home Wrecker

A man in Taiwan risked everything by lying to his wife about needing a $500 "air purifier" that also happened to be hooked up to their TV.

Although the woman made the man return his PS5, the story shows that even responsible adults are craving this console. The Xbox Series X had no such heartwarming headlines.

5
PS5 Won the Meme Wars

Memes may be stupid, but they're a useful measurement for how popular something is and how much people are talking about it.

Without a doubt, PS5 inspired way more and way better memes than the Xbox Series X. Did anyone sell their body for a Series X? I think not.
6
PS5 Made People Lose Their Minds

While both consoles have sold out over and over again, starting with their pre-orders, only the PS5 blew up on Twitter when Walmart messed up people's orders.

Anyone who had their Xbox Series X order messed up probably just gave up and went for a PS5.
7
PS5's Won the Mainstream Media

A lot of the mainstream attention around Xbox Series X focused on its confusing name structure, and never got past that. But mainstream coverage of PS5 ran into no hiccups at all.

Despite the PS5's annoying large size, it became the console people took photos of with their pets, and the thing Saturday Night Live made a sketch about.

Xbox's headlines were simply trash.

8
PS5 Had Better Launch Titles

Sure, most of the bigger games made available when these consoles released were the same (Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War, Assassin's Creed Valhalla, Watch Dogs: Legion).

But PS5's stronger games are coming out sooner, whereas all of Xbox's really cool titles are delayed until late 2021 or even 2022.

Plus, only the PS5 got a Demon's Souls remake.
9
PS5 Will Win Christmas

A teenager made the news when his petition to force his mom to buy him a PS5 went viral. Without a doubt, kids everywhere will be asking for a PS5 from Santa this year.

By contrast, the Xbox Series X has been described by many as simply a slightly better Xbox One. Pathetic.
10
PS5 Photos Sold for Thousands

The eBay listings have all been removed now, but a few weeks ago people were selling *photos* of PS5s for up to $80,000.

Sure, most of these went unsold, but some people somewhere were actually placing bids on these listings. The PS5's draw is just so strong people want it in their home anyway possible.

11
PS5 Already Going Pro?

While Sony isn't about to launch an upgraded PS5 Pro anytime soon, they did already file the paperwork for a dual-GPU machine that would take console gaming to new heights.

The mere mention of a PS5 Pro sent people into a frenzy, while Microsoft is busy just trying to get more people to buy their regular Series X.