cyberpunk 2077 dildos

Taken as their own set of mini games, the sexual aspects of Cyberpunk 2077 make up the most lurid video game of 2020.

You can customize your genitals, have sex with hookers and friends, and do a lot of important side quests at sex clubs. CDPR could have released just the sex part of Cyberpunk on its own mini title and it probably would have done well.

There's also of course, lots of dildos. Dildos pop up in the background at your apartment, in the club, and at all kinds of unexpected locations. You also stumble across dildos in the wild all the time. The chance of finding a dildo must be at least 10%.

You can also pick up a dildo weapon, called the Sir John Phallustiff, and beat people to death with it.

As a melee weapon, this thing is strong. Compared to the knife, baseball bat, and steel pipe, the Sir John Phallustiff is OP.

The Sir John Phallustiff has a DPS of 373.6 and deals 69-85 physical damage. For unarmored enemies, you can beat them to death with this sex wand in about two hits.

cyberpunk 2077 dildo

The other more common dildos you find in the game are treated as miscellaneous objects that you can just dump or sell for small amounts of cash. They come in two varieties: a more common purple studded dildo, and a much larger and black Pilomancer 3000.

The Pilomancer 3000 looks and sounds like the kind of dildo that could end someone's life.

cyberpunk 2077 dildos

When a Kotaku reporter asked CDPR why they included so many dildos, they said they did it to respect the authenticity of the future.

“We wanted Night City to be pretty open sexually," CDPR said, "where something by today’s standards might be taboo or kinky is very normal and commonplace by 2077 standards."

Apparently sometime in the next 50 years, dildos will just start raining down from the sky. They'll be like a hailstorm, only larger and much deadlier.

cyberpunk 2077 dildos

The reason dildos pop up so often in Cyberpunk is because the game treats them as random loot, so whatever algorithm is at work treats them the same as a spare cup of coffee or loose pack of cigarettes.

CDPR said they're considering adjusting this algorithm to cut down a little on the copious amount of floppy dongs, but they stand by their original intent.

The future is brimming with dildos. Best to strap on your helmets and put on your safety goggles, or you could lose an eye.